Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Sugar Report from St. Louis
Approximately 34 years before she will lose her battle with colon cancer, Dorothy G---- of St. Louis, Missouri will create and send to Mr. Helmuth F. S----- of Baltimore, Maryland a 10 page "ransom-style" letter entitled "Sugar Report From St. Louis."
NOTE: According to this document (i.e., a letter of recommendation, dated Sept 21, 1963, written in support of Dorothy and "Fred's" [aka Helmuth's] application to the Baltimore Country Club), the couple will get married less than a year after Helmuth receives the "Sugar Report." The couple will remain married for the next 33 years.
As I said to start, the "Sugar Report" is a 10 page, ransom-style letter. The first page of the text features the report's title. In its entirety, the rest of the document reads:
Dear Mister or man-in-a-blue-suit-again: I know your family was tickled to see you and hear about your life in the armed forces from June to September. You could report about the General's little bag (I don't like that crack) and week-ends in St. Louis. (Note: I will leave space between each chunk of text to indicate the contents of each page.)
You told them "I like army life but the time has come to do something else." You could not brush off all their questions because you would be in the dog house.
Saturday night I'm sure you were out painting the town red. . .oh! oh! Love and Romance! You said, "Am I glad to see you!" "Who is the no. 1 man in your life?" "Dreams do come true!" and, "it's lots more fun going places with you."
Sunday in keeping with the best Maryland traditions of gracious living. . .you were truly comfortable at home. You asked them "What happened here?" Conversation was blurred and fuzzy after a delicious dinner. I bet you'll be vice president in charge of home management again. How is all your family?
Today you will have gone to town, I'm sure, to make millions of calls on men who never heard of you. "Open doors for a smart executive" you commanded. "Good men are hard to find!" "Now you can have a welcome addition to your office!" You asked, "Are you interested in a strong, tireless man with experience?" "I
am just what you have been looking for!" "Companies have personalities, too and I want to be with yours." "I can do the work of six if you pay a lot." I hope you got what you wanted. Soon
You can write on how to be a business hero and you'll be telling what blondes prefer in bosses; Also how to get the comptroller's OK. I hope now you can do the things you've only dreamed about! I think you are good!
There are degrees of interest. . when you read this letter, [NOTE: Here, Dorothy has written the words "Sugar Report from S. Louis" on the cover of a book or pamphlet held by a figure whose eyes indicate a different reaction to the same material--see first image in this posting.] It's all in how you take it. moo.
There'll be no more Parker 51's for you to buy but I hope for 3000 letters and lots of action on the long distance front. After all what's the good of a telephone--if the wrong man calls. Think about me but enjoy life! Do have gay-hearted adventures. You know
I will. I can hardly wait to see you again. We must have a reunion. Let's make it soon! You are invited.
The letter was signed, "Very personally yours, Chris." [Note: Chris was a shortened version of Dorothy's middle name. While this is the only instance I've found thus far of Dorothy referred to by a variation of her middle name, Helmuth is often referred to by Dorothy and others as "Fred"--his middle name.]
The letter contains a partially hand-written post-script that reads, "Real letter follows soon."